Tough..

It's pretty tough for sure. Nothing hurts more than persistent nagging thoughts

Reverse, 2 Folded Events

A few weeks back, I was cursed by being served 'dog' food. A puddle of mashed up Pedigree-like Beef Curry was in front of my desk on a FRIDAY !!

What happened?

What happened was, a few weeks later, we found a 'puppy' ! See the connection?

-TODAY- October 23, 2009

I have in front of me, a vietnamese noodle combo - dietary, carb watching lunch !! It has a variety of spring rolls !! Not bad !! Pretty good, but spoiled by impromptu meetings !!

It better not be bad, because I am cursed to hell !!

I had loaded up to the brim of bearish positions that got stopped on a 'gap' up. And then the market sold off into oblivion and nothing pisses me off more than that !!! Being correct, but being denied ! And my subconscious feelings told me to jump ship and I did so, and I continued to get burnt, and puked all my hard work from before. W/o my charts I am a blind mouse !!

Anyhow, what's to come, in the end of day, I got into gambling positions. We shall see.

What does this mean?

That I am leveraged 3x and screwed.

I got my hopes up for a better Friday lunch, much like I got my hopes up for surfing the wave down in the markets. I got screwed by stops, much like I got screwed w/ an impromptu meeting that left my lunch 'coldish'. -.-

So what does the '2 fold' rebound event mean? I dunno.

Maybe Monday, I will get the last laugh..

-.-

Activity

I have never been more greedy than before because I am at a point where I am pushed to the limits in some aspects.

I am at a 3:1 ratio strategy. My persistent bearish, pessimistic views have caused me to think this way. And the best have said feelings and emotions only destroys. I agree !!

Tomorrow and going forward will be challenging. I am a slow learner because I am stubborn.

I am tired now..

Best trade

Scalped some anxiously in the morning.

Later on, caught a nice wave and it was all green from there.

Still not convinced, but a sinch of luck was there.

Aggressive..

I am mad and in a tirade..

100% BEAR
1% Energy

I miss the puppy..

I miss the puppy..

I'm not gonna vent too much..

I will just let it play out.


People are selfish. They will pay their price..

Great Day !

Still holding onto it. Great position !!

I'll say it again, ever since the arbitrage, and change of approach. I have been more profitable than not !

Now if only I could apply the same w/ other things.

I might expect too much, but that' just my nature. I won't forget what others have done to me, inside and out. No longer will I pursue as that's the space they want to give me.

It's just weird..

It's just weird..

damn gold

damn USD

I can just feel it....

I await these moments months after months... It might happen !!!

When you have balls of steels, ultimate leverage, and steepness nights, you should definitely go ALL IN !!

We'll see..

But for now.. Rest !

Gloomy night..

Gloomy night..

I love the Black Eyed Pee's - Meet you half way

It just struck me. W/o influence, it just hit me !

Pleasant !!! The rhythm and subtle meaning makes it nice !!!

The vid was okay ?! If there was even one !



HAHAHAHA


Anyhow. SHORTing like there is no tomorrow. Well, NO YET ;)

Ride um hard.. I am pissed at some things but I won't unleash till it's 'timed'. The market is timed.

To me banks have room

Banks have room and will probably be manipulated higher for the 'sake' of earnings and the whole shebang. But Ben Bernarke and Timmay can't do squat, neither can barrack o socialama !!

When it touches, they will fizzle.

Another lunch issue..

Last week I had dog food, this weak I had a bad mixed drink of dr.pepper and cherry coke. GOODNESS ! I dislike 'bread' !!!!

I'm not really in the mood. Currently stressed, but I am sickened by some things. Things that matter more than anything else.

Oh well.

It will go higher ....

Positioned myself. I hope it's worth it. I have to make it worthwhile.

The new 'technique' and 'arbitrage' has worked quite well.

If the reaction is great, we will continue the channel up. A lot of interesting jabs. But remember at the arcade, jabs are the 'weakest' punch option. Meaning, the jabs are fake outs, basically a salmon & honey combo taunting the bears.

Bull shit still rulls the market.

Precious times and precious metals

People laughed and have forgotten why we are in the mess we are in !!

Where do people park their liquidity?
Remember when people believed treasury bills and USA green backs to be the safest ever? Remember when the US passport ruled above everyone else?

Remember ?!

Those times are long gone.

What you have here are talks abot dethronine the USA. What you have here are collaborative doubts about the US dollar !! The currency used by the world in all tricks and trades have suddenly casted doubt and fear amongst everyone. So what do people do then? After seeing their asset and currency devalue quicker than a fatty devouring his cakesters - the smart people have parked their money in gold !! Golly...

They park their money in precious metals.

Get the rest..

Get the rest.

I have to remind myself, nothing has really changed. NOTHING !

So intermediate events are just that, short lived events.

Monday

It seems to me that I learned something in history and I am wondering if there is any truth to it.

The market wants to go higher. It has digested all it needs to, it has all the injection, the manipulation, and artificial support by governments world wide. I am thinking this bear slide so far will be met with some strong rally.

Tired and I am utterly disgusted with work !!

Trail

There are a lot of pervs on the trail.
Interesting though..
Still, some things are just weird sometimes. Hmm..
The world has changed..

Just be who you are...

Being a gentlemen is always a righteous thing..

Grabbing is fun...

Saw a BEE..

Lunch

This will sound cliche, but I had thought I was going to eat something better.
I saw a knife and a fork along with a desert in a rugged plastic take out box. Not a cheap small one, but one they would give you for left overs at Cheescake Factory or something. This lead me to believe this surprise lunch would be good! I had believe this was going to be a great meal, an entree w/ desert type of thing - aside from my typical Monday thru Thursday drags.

But when I opened the box, I saw 2 scoops of rice and a puddle of dog food. The Pedigree can type mixed w/ table food in some sloppy joe texture. LOL

Yuck...

Thanks for the effort. LOL





The only good thing was the haupia desert (coconut). LOL !!!

Full Circle....

It's been 1 year since.

2008 marked the most devastating period in the history of the USA ! At least in my lifetime thus far. The job hunting, the 1st real job, the ventures, the losses, the collapse of the USA embarked itself.

About a year had passed.

For me, it wasn't the start of my path in the real world, nor was it the Lehman Brother's collapse, it was the start of a fire, a compassion and desire to get what I want. Still to this day I am learning and though I sit at unsurmmountable losses that would make one puke, a brave man cry, and one heavily dependant on sleeping pills - I still haven't waved the white flag !! But these wounds are the precious times that only a few endure.

Some things never change. The only things that do change are artificial antics.

Slow and steady, I had come full circle, in the same spot. No success, just a bunch of losses and red ink. This time I discovered a new weapon, and it has given me an adrenaline rush and option in my next battle.

Arbitrage

My friend told me about this.

What I can say is this:

When you've discovered a trade secret or a tactic above everyone else, you've obtained competitive advantage, aka the upper hand, aka an advantagae, aka an 'arbitrage'. There is no real arbitrage because you'll just be in line and 2nd place, as those that have already discovered it, invented it !! More so that secret spot has been already discovered.

Thing is, would you rather be a sheeple, or be 2nd place in finding that advantage ?!

Get it ?!

-Covered.
-Spyders >=

OCTOBER IS HERE !!

OCTOBER IS HERE !!

And it's been quite good.

Covered. It's not how much you make, it's the process in which it was fulfilled.

And charts has done it.

Macy
AMD

Next to go down !!

Goomba

It just made sense as it was fitting.

Powers..

By your powers combined...

It's as if I discovered something new. Quite refreshing.

Putting down banks and real estate.

But I won't put down a nice home. Something new and inspirational. A loft ! Definitely a must have and a task on my 'agenda'. Definitely !!

Thoughts

There are still thoughts that arise within me. Just odd feelings. These emotions are mixed. I guess it's something that will always be there. Oh well.

Right now, psychological strength is the most important.

Money evaporates quick !

Blood test.

Into oblivion.

I do know one thing though and I will always be that way because of who I am. I will make sacrifices w/o people knowing. I can do a whole lot of thing and genuinely feel I can be passed off w/o taking credit. Well, some what.... I have to be that bond and facilitator. Quiet and humble, but not w/o goals.

Laters...

nooooooooo

nooooooooo

wedding

Some people are jokes

Some people are jokes !

They won't do it outside if it doesn't benefit them.

Dream

One can dream.

Tomorrow..

Camry is pretty big, nice and spacious. Glad things worked out.

I think the market will continue it's down fall tomorrow, if the dollar strengthens. It might be a very slim red day though. Or we might potentially bounce back up w/ the bulls. Definitely an up/down scenario.

I of course am a cynic, so I am wanting, and needing it to be a red day.

So far so good.

Feeling sick. I hope things are good..

Nothing is more sad than watching liquidity evaporate

Nothing is more sad than watching liquidity evaporate.

Booked it. To placate, and soothe myself, I can call it tuition, I can call it just a piece of digital greenback. To motivate myself, I can call it just a learning curve.

Sigh..

Krater..

The market is going to crater tomorrow. It seems like it. WOW

Overnight things happened. If it doesn't, then too bad !

On Expectation

Some people say I have no expectations, nor any form of standard. Yet, some have said my expectations were far-fetched and too demanding.

But I must say, this is definitely one of those 2 folded origami dilemnas.

On one end of the spectrum, the mind relaxes itself and loses it's demanding benchmark. Simply not caring to do what you might normally do. Yet, on another end, on the other spectrum, you are constantly measuring your actions and thoughts against an intangible ruler of satisfaction.

Did I do a good job? Is this acceptable to me, my own code, or acceptable by other's?

Jeez...

It is tiring, perhaps this is why we dip our toes in and out of the range. Still, in the inside, I feel I have expectations in anything and everything, just like people around me. Just like the expectations my family has of me, my managers, my doggie, my fishies, I too have a benchmark, a set of expectations I'm expecting. They can be high, they can be low, but they are still my own set of expectations I carry in life.

Some people don't understand; some people just don't care. I guess the latter makes them feel more at ease. It makes them feel unobligated and free. You can't blame them though. But the harsh reality is that expectations are everywhere, and it's the benchmark and guage that has propelled society, human beings, and everything else.

I just feel weird...

I just feel weird about things. I dunno anymore.
Life is fragile. Life is a challenge. Sigh..

Balut.

Balut.Balut.Balut.Balut.Balut.Balut.Balut.Balut.Balut.Balut.Balut.

I think considering the 'Camry' for a change might be good.

Onto other things, there are those that lend ears.

Betrayal

When people give excuses on why and when they change, that's when you can no longer depend on them. When they seek more and more selfish agendas, that's when you can't rely on them.

Wow, I just didn't know..

Today

There isn't much to say as usual. Being soft spoken, and contained w/ the feelings. No wonder they call me quiet. I guess I was just born like that.

Work has been pretty stable, some challenges here and there. The usual stresses. It's like I have nothing else to look forward to anymore. It's as if I have no one to talk to anymore either. Has my mundane simplicity outgrown everything?

My getaway lies somewhere else, some place no one really knows about. Oh well. It's better not to tell all, but at least it gets out some thoughts. Goodness !

The aspirations have fizzled. The strength and steam just isn't there anymore. It's kind of disappointing, but what can you do? What?

I still can't come to forgiveness w/ the thought of people being so selfish in their own sovereignty and desires. Everyone just looks out for themselves. There has been no selflessness anymore.

Maybe the peaceful, happy life, will return. Maybe those anticipation of some outlook will return. For now, it isn't gonna happen. For now, the worst is still sitting around.

Not looking good

It is not looking good at all.

Drained to the max.

Allocation is the key.

It just doesn't feel the same..

Life just beats on regardless..

But it just doesn't feel the same..

It's just odd...

The mellow feel, the quiet stars, the trade winds. It soothes the soul. It creates quietness, it creates calmness within.

I just don't know anymore. The drive, the passion for some things have been damaged and withered. For now, as we are economically, a pull back, a recession, a depression all fits the definition of my feelings.

Words can't describe, that's all.

It's just odd.

On a lighter note, changing of some things will occur.

I've said it before in my emotional vents, and I'll say it again. The artificial support will die. People will realize whose real and who isn't. The market will genuinely value companies. Oh well. It's not like things matter. Like the market, it's something I don't control.

The rage is the fuel that drives the compassion. However, this fuel isn't in the allocation I've wished it to be.

2 Kids..

I came back to the next gen. 2 kids were playing. I watched them commence, watched them move their feet, and thought about the freedoms kids have. Taught them, and it was great. =)

Of course I lost. 15-10

Boom SHAKA LAKA

Boom SHAKA LAKA
Ache

Bags

Bags NOW !

Results...x Assisting...

I didn't do as good, but today was very meaningful on many accounts. I was taking a shit, and I picked up the 'Chicken Soup for the Basketball Soul'?

I flipped to a part that read 'Jordan'. It caught my attention and I read the 2 short pages defining 'heart'. Heart @ failure, but having heart to pull through in adversity. Cliche isn't it. Of course it is, when your dealing w/ MJ !

Anyhow, the night didn't turn out too good! The aches lingered inside and out, especially the mental pain, and heartache. I struggled terribly, getting angry and irritated at almost every incidence.

However, near the end things changed. I was alone for a great while. I just stretched myself, breathed in, and wanted to just leave it out there. I thought back to what I had read earlier about 'heart'. Everything was status quo, so I just wanted the initiative to leave it out there, even if it meant to fail and embarrass myself. I let it go.

Inside & outside, it was different. Misses, laughs. Awws, and boos were there. But I know nothing mattered more than the effort and heart ! It ended w/ a lot of smiles and exchanges, and hard work. The ache started to fade a bit, but other aches developed as well ! How abstract !

The results didn't matter. What mattered was drawing the spotlight, and anticipation. What mattered was getting an outlet, and having people '2nd guess' your ability. What mattered was 'assisting' and making sure others had their shot. What mattered was just distributing, and facilitating for others. As I have been and always will, just making sure others are fine. Just being there, and getting everything into play.

I wish to achieve, and wish to just leave it out there.

I guess I made a first. "I'm back !"

The Game Plan

Today's plan is to just take it out and come afresh. Coming back. It'll mean a lot, a different breath of air, a different sweat, a different crowd.

Shot, and rain on them like never before. Make a statement that: "I'm Back !"

Of course I'll struggle, but I will push the confidence and accept all put downs on me. From utilizing me, not respecting me, misreading me, abusing me, tantalizing me, teasing me, and making a joke out of me. It will all fall on me. From frustration, to the laughs and talks behind me. To being disappointed, being cut out, being left out of the loop; it will all fall on me. When my expectations are betrayed, I will just let it all fall on me.....

I won't be the smartest, nor the brightest, nor the quickest, nor the most amicable person (well I am too friendly), but I will just leave it out there. I will hold the thoughts for as long my life allows.

Lates..

"I'm back" !

It just seems odd...

I guess you gotta just leave it out on the floor. It's been tough to say the least..

Early..... and it sucks ........

Early..... and it sucks ........

Doing better..

On many things. Still some things bother.

I really don't know anymore. Maybe with effort, something might happen.

It still surprises me the extent to which some would go to get what they want. They will use you, those around them, and sell themselves out! How sad, how shocking.

Holding a lot into tomorrow. Does hope even matter? It does in human behavior. But in controlled environments, will it? Hoping for 'red' tomorrow.

I think I will be a bit more selfish, and let things approach me. I don't think I should chase things. I think the artificial pumping has come to stop. Like right now ! When progress, effort, and character emerges, then I will. For now, not anymore. Until the weeds are chopped, until the splinter is lifted.

They will know, and when they know, IT WILL BE PAINFUL !

Some things are funny...

But......

The days have been gloomy alright. This is worst than a recession. This is a long lasting depression upheld by inflated, and artificial support.

Nothing much but to deviate.. Just didn't know people were like that.

Still funny..

'Change we need'.

Trust your own..

Trust your own conviction !! Sometimes, you just have to gather yourself, pause and go w/ it. Things have been tiring and I see no hope, nor anticipation anymore. The trials and feelings and oddities of life are growing on me.

Just changes...

A new step, a re-patch, a new beginning.

Sometime...

Sometimes, you try hard, but trash fucks utilizie you and etc.


Oh well. I's so real.

It was great..

A great torture and challenge for the body. Great and tiring !

Need some new shoes.

Tired.

I love dollar moving up.. We are CURED !

Fatigue and tired.

I am just so tired...

Today I stunk bad.

Literally 0/20. Clunked, and got out played. My legs are not there no more. But I am gonna get back. I was drained.

Lines..

The lines are tough to stomach. The pain and losses just as well.

As said, they think they can artificially support, and create delusions of laughter and memorable events, but that doesn't matter. These are fake, artificial situations that won't sustain itself.

It will be heard.

The drinks..

The Sam Adam draft was switched w/ Michelob !

LOL

I just had...

some of the worst cake noodles ever.. It was disgusting !!!

Mindless..

I want to tank Wells Fargo and Capital One.

But my approach has to take a break.

They say tomorrow is going to be a big day. Maybe tomorrow is the day to sell the public w/ a reason to correct.

Someone told me, we will 'gap' down into red and remain there. I won't deny some suckers 'buying' into the dip. But we shall see. We just shall see !

-----

These days, the tough real world is so tiring and draining. Life is just unfolding, a path that seems set. A routine, a matrix. I am just so tired, disappointed, and most of all shocked. I don't know why. I guess by dragging, dreading, and immersing my natural cynic pessimistic views, I have depressed and suppressed my optimism.

I've learned that by speaking things out, it'll come true. So instead of hiding my desire to make it, learn it, and earn it, I've told myself I will become rich. I guess it's a start of some sort?

Some people have changed on me at the passing of time. At their wills. A few. They have no other attachment, remorse, or delay. Like that of a CEO, 'restructuring' people, disregarding everything else. I guess people were just too selfish, looking out for 'just' their own self interest. It shocks me, how 1 year ago, the smiles, the trusts, and genuine bond floated around, and now, nothing more. Now, it has been about selfish ulterior motives, of selfish pursuits; total disrespects.

And to think that all I've done, and all I've given out. Gosh. It still pains me, because being 'dispensable' like that destroys me and creates an anger and grudge.

Like I've said before. The ultimate support, and foundations of those genuine WILL HOLD. These support levels are invincible, are ultimate and though tested, will NEVER be broken. Yet, the inflated, fake cushioned euphoria surrounding space cadets, will plummet. Some things 'never' change.

Yet, trend lines built are no longer the same, once they've been broken. It's sad. I guess the ball is not in my side of the court. I am glad the 'originals' are still there though. They too will hold.

I am still waiting dearly on a BMW diesel, a place of my home, but most of all financial security.


...

A friend suggested that he'll see himself as a happy person, or a rich person w/o happiness. Golly....

Anyhow, I will just go to sleep.. Nite.

Been too long..

Work has been entirely stressful.

There is nothing much here. Looking back, maybe I was just a bit too soft as ever and used. Golly...

Life.. Life.. I wish to succeed...

Sittin through a lot of pain.

----

Green shoots, recovery, inflated stocks, shitted dollar, high job losses, credit losses, equity evaporation = recovery in sight ?!

LOL

There is oddity..

I often question the existence of things, my position, and my daily routine in life. I think back to life itself, and the paths that's presented in front of me. It just feels deep, and it feels like there's so much uncertainty and despair in the air. I am not sure what it is, but it sure feels like a collapse, and hopes just flushing down the drain.

I'm not sure really what it is. There's just a very odd feeling that's been lingering me. My distastefulness in certain things are brewing, slowly and mildly. Perhaps right now, I am mentally drained and I have 'too much' expectations of things. Perhaps, I am just too stressed.

Maybe I am just thinking too much. But it does seem natural when things are so redundant. I am more shocked and disappointed though.

Anyhow, I've left it out there. I let all that's out there onto the courts.

-Anguished

Applicability

There's a lot of applicability in terms of life. The analogous bridges that occur, much like the trends, cycles, and the way things are.

People will artificially create a support for certain things. They will live in that mindset for as long as it'll allow them to. It is not concrete, but just a temporary glorious dream. In the midst, they violated things, breached certain things, and disregarded everything else. They are riding on the notion that things are fine, they put effort into it, excessively sell themselves to create something that's not really there! This will break down, and the lesson will be very painful.

Much like the genuine strength of actual support. Actual support is there, no matter how much you deviate from it. It is there because it is strong, and real. It is not pumped up.

The analogous point can be found in the markets and people.

People who discern, and deviate from the genuine bonds and pursue fictitious lifestyles will never find truth in it. Yet, you can deviate so much from strong friendships, and relationships that you can find yourself going back to it and be placated by it.

The markets are exhibiting this 100%. The endless opinions and views are thrown out, but sooner or later, it will find the truth.

I guess that's all there is to really say about this for now.

------

Bullish Harami

Planning

So I dialed some calls, did some things, and I finally have something to look forward to in 2009. It came late, but I hope to make it work. Nothing came more random than this !

Despite the pain, the losses, the realized losses, the struggles, the back stabbing, the betrayal, the sadness and anguish, I am breaking through !

I am excited to see where we will be by then, and I am excited to see the outcome. Perhaps it's a 'goal' that will turbo me!

---

I've asked myself, what I wanna buy, but I couldn't find anything ! I guess I've changed. Who knows hahah. Just eat, relax, and just chill ! One can only hope, if I pop a few mill ! Yeah right, but again, who knows !

Last Day...

I am beginning to lose the optimistic ways in my natural pessimistic soul !

So it's going to another round of it. Trying to control your future and work hard is important.

There's a lot of things riding on certain things. Sacrifices are still a necessity to get things to where it needs to be.

There are some things I wish I had never started. Life is sometimes filled with regrets, regrets that turn into experiences. Jeez.

The stars seemed SO ALIGNED for tomorrow, it just does. It's the perfect news to dump, it's about time they took a shit.

I got a feeling tomorrow will be extremely bloody. But Goldman's has come up time and time to bail out.

Finally. It's been too long this 'bull shit'.

. . .

I am beginning to find some disgusts as I always do w/ the little irking things @ work. Suddenly, it doesn't look too nice nor interesting.

Sigh

Topping Out

Here are just some random thoughts.

The USD continues to spin in the toilet bowl and I expect oil and commodities to further strengthen. But my curiosity in silver shows it wants to correct, yet I am leaning towards the inflation worries.

The next few days are very very exciting !

If it bolds well, I can scalp a few.

I have also taken the responsibility in managing some critical things.

It's starting..

The thing that's irking me is this, and I will tell a story later.

Thanks..

Thanks for the ideas and support.

Gosh, you really gotta wonder whose really OG and whose not.

Yups. Thanks for the talks and ideas !


--

Thanks for the LEXMARK ! I hope it holds. Support.. Come on IV !!!!!!!!!!!


--


There a lot of dicks out there, and jerks.


--

Thanks for taking a dump on the green back.

6-7 Course Buffet

I mean, the Bulls + Gold Man's Nut has eaten a 6-7 course entree! W/ prime rib, potatoes, ice cream, martini, salmon, crab, seafood for pennies on the dollar.

I think it's time for them to take a shit.

Now I don't like wishing and putting feelies in the the markets, because they don't 'lie'. But come on....

Perhaps a revisit into 950? We should see how JULY closes.

God it was fast..

If the lines and cycles are true, we should be bear next week. Time to close in w/ selling, time to be brought back to reality w/ earnings report, and it's just too, too overbought.

Auction and fed talk should be interesting.

Outlooks.

And like the beat goes on... the beat goes on...

Times change, trend change, people change.

It's just a shame though.

To compare, nothing is more disheartening than to have a child grow up complete opposite of expectations, but much more disappointment comes from the idea that a child has took a turn for the worst.

Much like..

And the beat goes on... the beat goes on...

The show goes on...

Yes it does....

Times have changed.

------

Thank you for shitting on the dollar.

I expect oil to test $70 barrel range again. The crooks and Goldman's nut won't let us fall. Oil is facing resistance, but it has swung into it really nicely. If it breaks out, it'll be nice.

We will float ourselves in lala land. In artificial life support. Then again you have to wonder how bad things really are !

Some faith and hope...

Congress still represent the minuscule voice of the people. There are still people out there w/ genuine opposition to the corruption that goes on.

Paulson is ridiculously funny.
Geithner is overly confident to the point he is baffled.
Ben Bernarke is a clutz that's nothing more than a puppet.

Thursday Update

Work has literally grew a disgusted bitter taste in my mouth. There is some sweetness, but a big chunk is filled with a sickening taste.

-Key Things I see-

*Dollar continues to lose strength, and this tells me commodities, euro, gold, and all that will rise ! Inflation definitely. Monetizing debt for sure. The yields are being pushed higher as no one really has the money, nor desire to buy the debt, except for the feds. But perhaps other countries see this as a strangle hold on the USA. But then again, this might be an expensive investment for them !

Their debt will be worth less as the US loses strength.

*The rally wants to close July in the green, and higher highs will be pushed.

The..

Sentiment on Monday and direction in which the world is heading towards is pretty devastating.

Juicy...

Work has been insanely tough. Our society, and volatility is now riding on very crazy cycles. Peaks, troughs, cross overs.. Jeez.

Monday - Bullish looking. We might top out tomorrow. Seems like a greenie day to me.

Wow..

The retail aspect has been extremely quiet, dead, and quite morbid. Barely any dead cat bounces !

We talking bout...................

Ulterior motives are what some do. Really. People w/ agenda are selfish. I've seen quite a few.

People don't consider you when they don't need you, but call on you when they do? But the thing is, they are selective, selfish in fulfilling their own agenda.

It's not really about being clued in, it's about a person's character. I guess some just don't have it. They expect to use you as a substitute, and use you as a back up when they can't satisfy their own agenda. Yeah right !

But, it's quite funny. We talk about character, we talk about people. There are those that would rise to your needs w/o any hesitation. They are those that would ACTUALLY ADJUST, ACTUALLY change, and ACTUALLY compromise for you. It is difficult to have such friends, such people, such character - most are masked by the inflated selfish agendas. It's more ludicrous that a stranger would go through all means to help you out? Yet, those that you 'deem close' are the least to improvise. HAHA.

It's FUBAR, it's shit, and it's crap. Why? Because people who don't speak out, are passed off as dumb. But in reality they realize what's going on. They realize that they were dicked, betrayed, used, and shafted. Therefore, when time comes, those that violated the trend, those that crossed the line will know and have a taste of their own medicine of character.

The bigger person won't make a fuss about it, but when the foolish one hits a dead end, he must realize and contemplate his actions.

Business wise.
--There are plenty of lazy workers. People who don't address the primary source of info. People who don't want to help. There are just plenty of bull shit & dumb people out there. There are those that don't strive, those that don't want to think outside the box and succumb themselves into their routines. I get passed off, but I just dig on my own. I work hard, and I do little things.

Eventually I will leave, but I WON'T forget who made me who I am in the real world. I know all about how people are; the vibe, the talk; the aura. It's there. It's a feeling that comes with time, and it's an understanding that builds on itself.

It's pretty much done. It's not a grudge, but when you get violated, tested consistantly, you tend to just give off that support and area of resistance.

Fubar. Yeah, they gotta learn on their own cuz they were too selfish. Way too selfish to deserve overspent help. More so, it's help that's been taken for granted.

950-975 Seems very very difficult to get through.

1050 area seems like the impossible sanctuary, as said by some..

WoW...

Occurences..

Today, I was caught in the zone with the person that gave me a chance and brought me into the 'real' world. The past year was tough, constantly changing, constantly in volatility, constantly restructuring. Before the epic change, I was told I would be the left and right hand. Things didn't necessarily turn out that way.

However, a year had passed, and though I am under someone else due to changes, I am reminded that what I do is recognized. Subtly, humbly, but definitely not gone w/o notice. The good word were passed through, to assure that I would be taken care of.

Leaders are leaders because they have established character, personality, and substance. They are concrete, they speak words that carry meaning. They keep promises, they keep a goal in mind. They are who they are because of their actions.

Sometimes it is fate, sometimes in the darkest hour when you sweat profusely, or hang your head low, is when a bright light picks you up. When just a few words spoken in air, rejuvenates you, you know it didn't come lightly and randomly. These words with effect are spoken by leaders. These are occurrences in life.

Choices..

The lines have been violated. They were lines that ran parallel, that denoted a path, that depicted a personality, that told a signal for reaction. However the consistent violation, consistent test of it has led to a change in trend. It has lead to an alert for a change. It has shifted the lever and directed the train into a diff't direction.

Therefore, things will no longer be the same. For things much succumb to the tracks. Succumb to the forever moving train of time.

And then... And then we will just see.... Perhaps. I think I have been pushed to the utmost limit. The past year of stress @ work.

Even selflessness has a trend. A trend that once took part, but violated to the point where it must be broken down. It will be in free-fall..

If you violate me anymore, I will let it be known.

Some people do slot you..

The past few..

Fireworks are quite nice, amazing. Just like the stars. It's there in the open sky. It's almost as if you can put your hand up and grab the colors. But for about 3 seconds, it disappears in front of you, only to have another set shoot up.

This magnificent mosaic sometimes reflects things in life. Sometimes you are so close, yet you are so far. Sometimes time passes so fast, yet sometimes time is so slow.

Mellow as always, quiet, reserved as always...

CANON in D is magnificent.

Monday: Day 1

It will be tough.

Life.

So many things has happened in about 1 year's worth of work in the real world. Since I've been there, in my dept., nearly 5 people were trimmed off.

In Oct 2008 - 1 Person left for the mainland
In Nov 2008 - 1 Person retired
In March 2009 - 1 Person retired, 1 Person was 'officially' layed off
In June 2009 - 1 Person took another position @ another dept.

Whether it was equivocal to leaving, downsizing, restructuring, moving, retiring; the truth of the matter is, they left. They left because the economic down turn has affected everyone and everything. It is sad.

I am stuck there alone, as a rookie, with more confinement and solitude. Slavery just started for me. Emancipation will only arrive when time has been put in.

3x are fun and deadly...
1 series are nice ...
Sometimes condos are a nice getaway ...

Good lord, when will I buy my freedom?

Laters..

It's just a matter of time. Time seems to move so fast, yet it provides some uncertainty. Wow...

I must be losing it, must be getting old. I try to detach myself from routines.
After financial top off, it's pretty much done for.

The war will be there to divert the public. Still people go about their sheeple lives..

Booze

I got a lot of rare booze recently. All delicious !

I like playing w/ Squeeze Toys.

If...

If I don't speak up any longer, I am going to go insane !

The relentless agony, pain, and endurance I must go through, to attempt, to strive, to learn, to test my goals are pretty hard fought, pretty challenging, but most of all tiring.

Day in/out I find myself in countless routines - repetition. I find myself very much like a robot. Time is such a budget, everyday a new slate comes and goes, dictated by the alarm clock, and work load (factoring in my watch of course)!

I seem to have committed myself in some addiction. I find myself continuous emphatically attached to this addiction. I have become an anxiety freak, a dilemma, a chronic. I am making sacrifices that I know will not guarantee any success.

There are those that seek temporary salvation, and adjournment. But I seek to achieve the bigger fish. I seek and I'm in a rush to get where I have to.

I am disappointed with how some things have turned out, but it serves to remind me that's how I feel, and my conclusions on certain views confirms these interactions amongst each other. I don't know why I have this conviction of grudge, of betrayal, but I will let time heal. I will let time settle in.

What can I do? What can I say...

You can't win them all, but when you do, and when it counts. I'm sure that's all that matters. When time arises, I will let out the genuine feel. For now, time shall heal the greatest pain, time gives hope, time gives options.

Funny things..

Thinning out.. Tough times.. What can I say...

The...

Weekend was filled with fun, laughter, and discovery. But it was hard work !

And so..

Will be gone for a few days.

And they bother to ask me, to include me? Wow. Oh well. In all the times I would amend, I would reach out, I get no consideration. It's time to give character.

Oh well.. I no longer will pursue, and no longer would ask.

IMPLICATIONS are TOTALLY wrong, the moment people SHAFT YOU!

The Euro is rising and the dollar seems to continue its down fall. I expect and will look towards the essentials.

lol

lol

I use to..

I use to think that some things were understood, some things cliche, some things well respected. But I am finding more and more truth to the fact that people's credibility and dignity has gone down the drain like our 'fiat currency'.

The more it grows, the more I believe people are turning against themselves. People whom you reached out to, betray you, ignore you. People whom you've stepped above and beyond for, are no longer there to hear the unspoken words. The betrayal, the empty promises, the words spoken.

I think it's being tested and it's being pushed. The idea of being nice, of being a friend, of being a person whom people can really relate to, is no longer there. I am totally displeased @ how fast people move on for their own self interest. To say things that pierce, that betrays; it means a lot. Nothing speaks more than the action of people. It shows a lot.

I was a fool back then, I was a fool now....

It's just a shame. I hate to be ruthless, but they haven't seen me ruthless before.

Whiskey

It's quite amazing what you really find in a garage. From decades old newspapers, magazines, to companies that don't exist no more. But speaking of old, how about a 1977 Crown Whiskey ? I was shocked to find this.

Needless to say, my eagerness got the best of me. Imagine it. Whiskey aged for sale in 1977, and then opened in 2009? WOW !

It didn't burn, but my palette tried to test match. It tried to seek the last time I drank Crown ! Sure enough, after a while the taste reminded me of how much I hated Crown. Canadian whiskey hyped up by kids, advertisement like the other counterparts. lol

The difference? I'm not sure. It's a lot smoother though. It doesn't have that brash initial burn. Though I think the aroma might have left, after being stored so long.

HAHA.

Wow...

People change. I sometimes feel, helping people out is just a negative lost cause.

Market

A lot of things seem to have been pushed to its limits. Chopping around up/down, sideways. We seem to be due for that correction. Why hasn't it come yet?

I am fearful of further political changes, and lifestyle changes.

HAHAHA

HAHAHA

Bowling

Wow.. I learned a few techniques. Thumb in, thumb out.

I think my 3 game averages, ranged frome 65-90. Been a few years since I played; in fact I would consider this my actual experience. The lights were nice, the duration just allowed myself to disconnect my worries and enjoy myself.

I was quite anxious at first, but then things settled in and I realized amateurs, people, family, kids, adults were there just for fun. Some dude next to me threw the 13 lbI w yellow ball like it was a baseball. He could control the curve, speed, direction, aim. LOL

I swear, my biceps grew a bit.

-- I begin to see more clearly what and how people are. Goodness, why must I endure this agony?

-- Great games tomorrow for me. I am hoping Dwight advances, and Kobe relinquishes.

Booze Test Review: Widmer Brothers 84-09 Double Alt

Saw this, and just picked it up.

This has a stout taste. The alcohol % didn't bother, phase, nor temp me. Rather, it's the brand, and marketing. It wasn't too bad. Stout filled with richness. Tasted pretty good, rich in flavor.

Ale, Hail, Wail.

I have never gotten this excited about a damn book.
As the usual Friday routines, I saw some new 'bottles' for sale. I approached it w/o ANY hesitation. Great things often come by.

On Alcoholism...
Dead Guy Ale Rogue - Oregon Brewed is one of the best 'beverages' ever !! I will quote it again and again. As an alcoholic addict, I've had a great amount of encounters with my taste buds. This one is one of the best !!! It is costly, but it's great !

It's very comparable to Sam Adam's Boston Lager, which is very very tasteful.

Today, I LOLed hard.

I have barely any money in my checking account and I was approached with the typical sales pitch, bank tellers were trained to do.

"Would you like to open a Savings Account & start saving"?

I had to lOl really hard, and respectfully decline like I always did. But the tellers that know me, wouldn't ask that question twice. It was funny, because I barely make it monthly, yet I had no reason why, my activity, averages would prompt such 'lure'. HAHA

I glanced up, while the money was counted and all that jazz; to find an award for outstanding employee of the month?

I loled hard. I had remembered just then, why SHE was the employee of the month. Persistance, but still funny.

Where we stand.

Our society has just taken an entire pause, break, contraction, recession. All around the world, we are standing still in quick sand. It is sad. And to think each day is just a reoccurring of what happened yesterday, seems entirely true. The daily habitual, the daily routines are just what they are. Alas, until they hit you with a slip, a box, and your no longer in that routine; means your just in the news. Means you join the hoards of unemployed victims.

I would love to have a loft, and pool.

--

I have been craving for some food.

Nothing but fatigue and tired. I will call it a night and rest up.

Stops in Place. We'll see how it goes.

Karl Marx is interesting. I think he is my new icon of study.

There are outrageous claims out there.

So I've been waiting..

For things...
Darn...

Gambling.. Ahh..

It's wonders.. It's wonders...

I have done nothing but hold onto this faith.

However, this faith might not last me or get me anywhere.

Basics of life and cycles need to occur. I will move into it, when I am ready.

Stops are exits and they are necessary.

I am just awaiting. Time flies, and at times it's so slow.

They will know. When its all said and done. When I succeed and make the cut, they will know.

For now, the agony, the betrayals, the infidelity, the broken trust, the pressure surmounts itself. These broaden my shoulders, these create stress in me, but most of all they make me stronger. Through endurance, struggle, and challenge, I will prevail.

It seems as if human beings are regressing southwards into prime civilization. When man learned how to create fire, when man learned about societies. Everyone has lost a sense of direction.

I go back to what the charts tell me, what society gives me. It tells me to be how I have to be.

840-855 on the SPX
Perhaps even 863 if we are crazy.

However, I suppose it should go sideways. But if we break down, 830. Calling doesn't matter, seeing things do.

Anyhow... What dreams are made of. If they are concrete, it should take place.

I don't think I"m gonna have any patience left for things..

830-855 SPX

Interesting to see..

I see a symmetrical triangle breakdown, and possibly a descending triangle.

"If taxpayer money is involved, I've got a responsibility to ensure some transparency and accountability in the operations of those businesses," Obama was quoted as saying.

It seems as if my patience and tolerance for anything has gone down the drain. It is no longer there to withstand and endure. Perhaps the benchmark and measuring stick has dampened.

I don't know anymore.

But,

I still try to aspire. Finding commadaries is hard. It's just not there anymore.

Today

Today was one of the toughest days ever !
Tough times.

It's one of those days where anxiety hits you, sweat lingers in your head, your blood pressure rises, your panic constraint is about to fall apart. These are one of those days in which you wish you would have forgotten, and forgotten good ! Yet, it goes down in the books as one of those days in which you've fought a tough battle. A battle that you will take out to fathom; so that it'll make you stronger. A battle, a day in which you will look back thinking what you can find to make yourself concrete. Experience they call this?

But damn, I'm pushed up to the resistance !

But there are dreams. Dreams that are out there, dreams that tease the imagination. There are plenty beyond the rock.

542-577
-broke down into a diff't channel. will guage and view results.

--
S

842 open
840 close

830

Somehow, I can't make use of those numbers.. Its like I see something, but I dont' like calling as I don't know what I am talking about.

04/14/09 --
Looking for more news on the GS, on the 'bottoming'.

I see SPX getting into 867, possibly 875. So we might touch 875, close 867.

Who knows.

Based on our outcome and fake pumping, we exploded upwards. 875, and 900 are key resistance levels.

There's only 1 option here.

I suspect if things are so manipulated, I believe 813 and 850 are the ranges, but 875 being an ultimate top, but we shall see if it'll ever be challenged.

Tomorrow, SPX 04/09/09 !

I believe we will be around 834-837 tomorrow, another light day, sold to the public as low volume.

But if we tank, 813

We shall see though?

It is quite funny....


Really..

I want you to listen to me very very carefully. I want you to get out of your positions if they are true, and then hold for the final slide. You hear me?

The signs are out there. Everywhere. It's just a matter of time.
Banks will fall one by one. Big names, like GE, GM, BOA will be under the NWO. It was true. All along, w/ the incoming of Bush, the coming of the USA, the coming of the world currency ! The path in which society eventually leads itself into. The idea of credit, equity, enjoy now and pay later has caught up. It has set off a severe chain reaction that has "YET" to explode.

Years ago, I had ponder. I had been put into a choice. Oh how I hated the banking industry, oh how I viewed it as nothing but a corporate jail cell with cubicle divisions. Was this the place I would end up going?

Guess what?

I did. And though it seems as if fate has set me on this path, I feel compassionate, humble, and challenged. Many people stepped on me, looked down on me, dismissed me and my situation and position. They saw it lowly, as a place to dig in and out. I held tight, remained calm, focused on hope and went in and paid my dues.

If they paid any damn attention to the news, they'd realize the market moved w/ the collapse of Lehman, Bear Stearns 1 year ago around this time. They would freaking realize that 'banks' are and forever will the be the leader in this society. Boy, have I learned myself. The crucial vitality, and backbone of this nation and world resides in the "BANKING INDUSTRY".

Do they continue to laugh? Perhaps. Does it matter? Not really.

What really matters are the unspoken words that ripples out. What matters are the actions that bestow upon the aura.

-------

I find it quite funny many times.....

I will say this again. *Wells Fargo, BOA, and many others will fall.


APRIL 2009

The 'rule's in accounting dictate all. It directs us.

I am very tired. To the point where I just don't think I am seeing it anymore.

We should see.

MON:

425 Support
470 Resist.

750 Tremendous Support
780 Resist

Lets create more lows.. Hurray !!!

As recession deepens,

more Americans go fishing

The funny thing is, when we form that top, we should slide steeply. It's setup for it. Perfectly. All the signs, the media, the internals.

Risk or just sit and watch?

Around April.

Kiss your money good bye.

I could care less about anything anymore...

Tuesday

If Tuesday creates very strong sell off, we will slide. WEEEEEEEE !!

I a bit irked @ work today. I've been nothing but a contained person. But today was brutal, and another reminder that I have a lot to face and learn.

The politics are great. Being a scapegoat, taking the blame is your only option. Given the circumstances, it's how it is.

But I will face it, even if I have anxiety, fearfulness, and struggles; I will face it.

I will go and correct what is wrong and move forward.

Unrealized Gains/Loss

-

Either hold @ 430, but if that support is done, I suspect we can leg down BAD ! And then @ 408.

After 408, it'll be very very nice.

I haven't written here in a while.
This will morph completely into a random useless thread.

Monday - Bulls are losing strength. I am expecting myself to see the markets close 'red'. If we drop below 750, I expect us to continue to spiral down. However, if I see ourselves green, we will bull rally into 770.

Though, all thins are pointing to a red closing.

What do I know ?! I know that I hate working, and I'm sick of it !

I also know, I don't know much.

I am looking for something to do.
There's been a lot of faggots out there in this world. The world reveals its color. People forget who you are, they don't give a shit about you no more. They delete you.

Being in control.

I don't trust anyone driving, and I don't ever want to be a passenger. (literally)

Dow to under 3k.

Oh..

I am humbled down alright. To what I have said previously, I still persist.

To be precise, I think I will have to forgo alcohol.

I can foretell and foresee things. The way things are, people will just end up being chained down. Things need to be learned the hard way.

I remember people who needed help, I helped them out. I brought them out from their life, taught them things, showed them things, introduced them to things. But now, people are insecure, protect their circle as if it was their pulse.

Lates..

Irrationality, and emotions will hit me.

When I learn how to remain calm when others are in a frenzy, I will be fine.

LOVIE DOVIE. This week, we should see a continued fall. A crash. New support levels.

CHEEE HOOO

Things..

Things change in life. The selflessness and selfishness of human beings are just part of us. Much like the air we breathe, our life has never abolished our hatred, our strive, our selfishness. We speak false words, we hide, we betray. We are no longer honest because we have become unsecured individuals. Though, that's not to say the absolute does not permit existence of some glimmer of faith, of kindness, of genuine intent for the better.

I don't understand why people have started to become that way. It has prompted me to become a cold blooded animal that thirsts and thrives on one's dismay, one's failure, one's mistake and misfortunes. I feel appeased when I see struggles for I have been in the same situation once and realized what it was like for others to look upon my own misfortunes as their satisfaction. Though I would not entirely wish that, but I wish for humbleness to be brought out naturally in lesser forms.

The expectations are no longer there. But, there are people that still have genuine help and that balances out. Perspectives have now changed. Clarity is bestowed only for those that seek it.

Haven't written here in a while..

Things have changed.

Hello

Happy Chinese New Year.

It's not like it matters to much anymore. But positiveness, action is important !
Never be greedy, when it persists, be careful. Calm is important.

The world has shaped and molded people into a certain way. People don't clue you in, it's just different. Times have changed. Everyone is selfish down to "THEIR BRITTLE BONES". Fakes !

I use to believe in a lot of things. I use to see things on TV, VIDEOS, MOVIES, STORIES, etc. and hear about commadaries and the works. However, that's not the same. People are afraid of invasive, of securing their own before extending. People out there actually believe someone would 'steal' friends ?! WTF, is this pre-school ?!

People actually are afraid and would stab you so that they remain upheld amongst their 'radius', but in reality given an elevated platform, they cannot and will not sustain.

Things bite back and things come back, cosmic law is true.

I continue the path of humble, of isolation. There is reason nonetheless much like other people. Agendas, hidden motives, ulterior motives.

WoW

Picked up some more inhabitants.

LOOKING REAL GOOD !

Thanks.. Patience, and never give up. Just never ever give up if you want something.

Super Bad

And these shit guys are supah funny...

There are some things...............

I am very shocked @ the quick recovery of gold. Whilst there have been so much "ANALYSTS" calling gold to be $1,000 by year's end, it has simply not been true. Like wise, the calling of OIL to be "$200" 6 months back, was again NOT TRUE. So these ANALYSTS that have FUND MANAGERS as co-workers, are actually doing what?

Gold's recovery is showing great support and I look for it to breach into $900 coupled with the support of certain stocks.

I had said it all along.

There will be a war and there is one created OUT OF THE BLUE !!

No one believes me, no one would give a crap about what's going on. This is how the regular people are, this is how the poor people are. This is how the aspiring kid going to high school, then college, then onto CPA and prominent professions turn into. This is just the way. By achieving, one is neglecting what's going on and accepting the way of life, the tradition. By indulging in media, one has programmed and trained themselves on a set of standards. One must toast on New Year's Eve, one must go to Prom, one must have a sweet 16, one must do this, do that. One SHALL NOT use a paper cup for New Year's Eve, one must use Champagne !! One must use SOJU 2:1 w/ Sprite and or Lime! One cannot change the formula. One must get SCREWDRIVER in equal portions, one must use PATRON only ! One must dub Grey Goose vodka as TIER !

WTF !

Knocked up is one of the 'funniest' & 'well created' films ever. It has laughter, a plot, and a happy ending along w/ a lesson !

Best I've seen so far.