The market is going to crater tomorrow. It seems like it. WOW
Overnight things happened. If it doesn't, then too bad !
Monday, August 31, 2009
On Expectation
Some people say I have no expectations, nor any form of standard. Yet, some have said my expectations were far-fetched and too demanding.
But I must say, this is definitely one of those 2 folded origami dilemnas.
On one end of the spectrum, the mind relaxes itself and loses it's demanding benchmark. Simply not caring to do what you might normally do. Yet, on another end, on the other spectrum, you are constantly measuring your actions and thoughts against an intangible ruler of satisfaction.
Did I do a good job? Is this acceptable to me, my own code, or acceptable by other's?
Jeez...
It is tiring, perhaps this is why we dip our toes in and out of the range. Still, in the inside, I feel I have expectations in anything and everything, just like people around me. Just like the expectations my family has of me, my managers, my doggie, my fishies, I too have a benchmark, a set of expectations I'm expecting. They can be high, they can be low, but they are still my own set of expectations I carry in life.
Some people don't understand; some people just don't care. I guess the latter makes them feel more at ease. It makes them feel unobligated and free. You can't blame them though. But the harsh reality is that expectations are everywhere, and it's the benchmark and guage that has propelled society, human beings, and everything else.
But I must say, this is definitely one of those 2 folded origami dilemnas.
On one end of the spectrum, the mind relaxes itself and loses it's demanding benchmark. Simply not caring to do what you might normally do. Yet, on another end, on the other spectrum, you are constantly measuring your actions and thoughts against an intangible ruler of satisfaction.
Did I do a good job? Is this acceptable to me, my own code, or acceptable by other's?
Jeez...
It is tiring, perhaps this is why we dip our toes in and out of the range. Still, in the inside, I feel I have expectations in anything and everything, just like people around me. Just like the expectations my family has of me, my managers, my doggie, my fishies, I too have a benchmark, a set of expectations I'm expecting. They can be high, they can be low, but they are still my own set of expectations I carry in life.
Some people don't understand; some people just don't care. I guess the latter makes them feel more at ease. It makes them feel unobligated and free. You can't blame them though. But the harsh reality is that expectations are everywhere, and it's the benchmark and guage that has propelled society, human beings, and everything else.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
I just feel weird...
I just feel weird about things. I dunno anymore.
Life is fragile. Life is a challenge. Sigh..
Life is fragile. Life is a challenge. Sigh..
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Betrayal
When people give excuses on why and when they change, that's when you can no longer depend on them. When they seek more and more selfish agendas, that's when you can't rely on them.
Wow, I just didn't know..
Wow, I just didn't know..
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Today
There isn't much to say as usual. Being soft spoken, and contained w/ the feelings. No wonder they call me quiet. I guess I was just born like that.
Work has been pretty stable, some challenges here and there. The usual stresses. It's like I have nothing else to look forward to anymore. It's as if I have no one to talk to anymore either. Has my mundane simplicity outgrown everything?
My getaway lies somewhere else, some place no one really knows about. Oh well. It's better not to tell all, but at least it gets out some thoughts. Goodness !
The aspirations have fizzled. The strength and steam just isn't there anymore. It's kind of disappointing, but what can you do? What?
I still can't come to forgiveness w/ the thought of people being so selfish in their own sovereignty and desires. Everyone just looks out for themselves. There has been no selflessness anymore.
Maybe the peaceful, happy life, will return. Maybe those anticipation of some outlook will return. For now, it isn't gonna happen. For now, the worst is still sitting around.
Work has been pretty stable, some challenges here and there. The usual stresses. It's like I have nothing else to look forward to anymore. It's as if I have no one to talk to anymore either. Has my mundane simplicity outgrown everything?
My getaway lies somewhere else, some place no one really knows about. Oh well. It's better not to tell all, but at least it gets out some thoughts. Goodness !
The aspirations have fizzled. The strength and steam just isn't there anymore. It's kind of disappointing, but what can you do? What?
I still can't come to forgiveness w/ the thought of people being so selfish in their own sovereignty and desires. Everyone just looks out for themselves. There has been no selflessness anymore.
Maybe the peaceful, happy life, will return. Maybe those anticipation of some outlook will return. For now, it isn't gonna happen. For now, the worst is still sitting around.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
It's just odd...
The mellow feel, the quiet stars, the trade winds. It soothes the soul. It creates quietness, it creates calmness within.
I just don't know anymore. The drive, the passion for some things have been damaged and withered. For now, as we are economically, a pull back, a recession, a depression all fits the definition of my feelings.
Words can't describe, that's all.
It's just odd.
On a lighter note, changing of some things will occur.
I've said it before in my emotional vents, and I'll say it again. The artificial support will die. People will realize whose real and who isn't. The market will genuinely value companies. Oh well. It's not like things matter. Like the market, it's something I don't control.
The rage is the fuel that drives the compassion. However, this fuel isn't in the allocation I've wished it to be.
I just don't know anymore. The drive, the passion for some things have been damaged and withered. For now, as we are economically, a pull back, a recession, a depression all fits the definition of my feelings.
Words can't describe, that's all.
It's just odd.
On a lighter note, changing of some things will occur.
I've said it before in my emotional vents, and I'll say it again. The artificial support will die. People will realize whose real and who isn't. The market will genuinely value companies. Oh well. It's not like things matter. Like the market, it's something I don't control.
The rage is the fuel that drives the compassion. However, this fuel isn't in the allocation I've wished it to be.
Monday, August 24, 2009
2 Kids..
I came back to the next gen. 2 kids were playing. I watched them commence, watched them move their feet, and thought about the freedoms kids have. Taught them, and it was great. =)
Of course I lost. 15-10
Of course I lost. 15-10
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Results...x Assisting...
I didn't do as good, but today was very meaningful on many accounts. I was taking a shit, and I picked up the 'Chicken Soup for the Basketball Soul'?
I flipped to a part that read 'Jordan'. It caught my attention and I read the 2 short pages defining 'heart'. Heart @ failure, but having heart to pull through in adversity. Cliche isn't it. Of course it is, when your dealing w/ MJ !
Anyhow, the night didn't turn out too good! The aches lingered inside and out, especially the mental pain, and heartache. I struggled terribly, getting angry and irritated at almost every incidence.
However, near the end things changed. I was alone for a great while. I just stretched myself, breathed in, and wanted to just leave it out there. I thought back to what I had read earlier about 'heart'. Everything was status quo, so I just wanted the initiative to leave it out there, even if it meant to fail and embarrass myself. I let it go.
Inside & outside, it was different. Misses, laughs. Awws, and boos were there. But I know nothing mattered more than the effort and heart ! It ended w/ a lot of smiles and exchanges, and hard work. The ache started to fade a bit, but other aches developed as well ! How abstract !
The results didn't matter. What mattered was drawing the spotlight, and anticipation. What mattered was getting an outlet, and having people '2nd guess' your ability. What mattered was 'assisting' and making sure others had their shot. What mattered was just distributing, and facilitating for others. As I have been and always will, just making sure others are fine. Just being there, and getting everything into play.
I wish to achieve, and wish to just leave it out there.
I guess I made a first. "I'm back !"
I flipped to a part that read 'Jordan'. It caught my attention and I read the 2 short pages defining 'heart'. Heart @ failure, but having heart to pull through in adversity. Cliche isn't it. Of course it is, when your dealing w/ MJ !
Anyhow, the night didn't turn out too good! The aches lingered inside and out, especially the mental pain, and heartache. I struggled terribly, getting angry and irritated at almost every incidence.
However, near the end things changed. I was alone for a great while. I just stretched myself, breathed in, and wanted to just leave it out there. I thought back to what I had read earlier about 'heart'. Everything was status quo, so I just wanted the initiative to leave it out there, even if it meant to fail and embarrass myself. I let it go.
Inside & outside, it was different. Misses, laughs. Awws, and boos were there. But I know nothing mattered more than the effort and heart ! It ended w/ a lot of smiles and exchanges, and hard work. The ache started to fade a bit, but other aches developed as well ! How abstract !
The results didn't matter. What mattered was drawing the spotlight, and anticipation. What mattered was getting an outlet, and having people '2nd guess' your ability. What mattered was 'assisting' and making sure others had their shot. What mattered was just distributing, and facilitating for others. As I have been and always will, just making sure others are fine. Just being there, and getting everything into play.
I wish to achieve, and wish to just leave it out there.
I guess I made a first. "I'm back !"
The Game Plan
Shot, and rain on them like never before. Make a statement that: "I'm Back !"
Of course I'll struggle, but I will push the confidence and accept all put downs on me. From utilizing me, not respecting me, misreading me, abusing me, tantalizing me, teasing me, and making a joke out of me. It will all fall on me. From frustration, to the laughs and talks behind me. To being disappointed, being cut out, being left out of the loop; it will all fall on me. When my expectations are betrayed, I will just let it all fall on me.....
I won't be the smartest, nor the brightest, nor the quickest, nor the most amicable person (well I am too friendly), but I will just leave it out there. I will hold the thoughts for as long my life allows.
Lates..
"I'm back" !
Friday, August 21, 2009
It just seems odd...
I guess you gotta just leave it out on the floor. It's been tough to say the least..
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Doing better..
On many things. Still some things bother.
I really don't know anymore. Maybe with effort, something might happen.
It still surprises me the extent to which some would go to get what they want. They will use you, those around them, and sell themselves out! How sad, how shocking.
Holding a lot into tomorrow. Does hope even matter? It does in human behavior. But in controlled environments, will it? Hoping for 'red' tomorrow.
I think I will be a bit more selfish, and let things approach me. I don't think I should chase things. I think the artificial pumping has come to stop. Like right now ! When progress, effort, and character emerges, then I will. For now, not anymore. Until the weeds are chopped, until the splinter is lifted.
They will know, and when they know, IT WILL BE PAINFUL !
I really don't know anymore. Maybe with effort, something might happen.
It still surprises me the extent to which some would go to get what they want. They will use you, those around them, and sell themselves out! How sad, how shocking.
Holding a lot into tomorrow. Does hope even matter? It does in human behavior. But in controlled environments, will it? Hoping for 'red' tomorrow.
I think I will be a bit more selfish, and let things approach me. I don't think I should chase things. I think the artificial pumping has come to stop. Like right now ! When progress, effort, and character emerges, then I will. For now, not anymore. Until the weeds are chopped, until the splinter is lifted.
They will know, and when they know, IT WILL BE PAINFUL !
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Some things are funny...
But......
The days have been gloomy alright. This is worst than a recession. This is a long lasting depression upheld by inflated, and artificial support.
Nothing much but to deviate.. Just didn't know people were like that.
Still funny..
'Change we need'.
The days have been gloomy alright. This is worst than a recession. This is a long lasting depression upheld by inflated, and artificial support.
Nothing much but to deviate.. Just didn't know people were like that.
Still funny..
'Change we need'.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Trust your own..
Trust your own conviction !! Sometimes, you just have to gather yourself, pause and go w/ it. Things have been tiring and I see no hope, nor anticipation anymore. The trials and feelings and oddities of life are growing on me.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
I am just so tired...
Today I stunk bad.
Literally 0/20. Clunked, and got out played. My legs are not there no more. But I am gonna get back. I was drained.
Literally 0/20. Clunked, and got out played. My legs are not there no more. But I am gonna get back. I was drained.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Lines..
The lines are tough to stomach. The pain and losses just as well.
As said, they think they can artificially support, and create delusions of laughter and memorable events, but that doesn't matter. These are fake, artificial situations that won't sustain itself.
It will be heard.
As said, they think they can artificially support, and create delusions of laughter and memorable events, but that doesn't matter. These are fake, artificial situations that won't sustain itself.
It will be heard.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Mindless..
I want to tank Wells Fargo and Capital One.
But my approach has to take a break.
They say tomorrow is going to be a big day. Maybe tomorrow is the day to sell the public w/ a reason to correct.
Someone told me, we will 'gap' down into red and remain there. I won't deny some suckers 'buying' into the dip. But we shall see. We just shall see !
-----
These days, the tough real world is so tiring and draining. Life is just unfolding, a path that seems set. A routine, a matrix. I am just so tired, disappointed, and most of all shocked. I don't know why. I guess by dragging, dreading, and immersing my natural cynic pessimistic views, I have depressed and suppressed my optimism.
I've learned that by speaking things out, it'll come true. So instead of hiding my desire to make it, learn it, and earn it, I've told myself I will become rich. I guess it's a start of some sort?
Some people have changed on me at the passing of time. At their wills. A few. They have no other attachment, remorse, or delay. Like that of a CEO, 'restructuring' people, disregarding everything else. I guess people were just too selfish, looking out for 'just' their own self interest. It shocks me, how 1 year ago, the smiles, the trusts, and genuine bond floated around, and now, nothing more. Now, it has been about selfish ulterior motives, of selfish pursuits; total disrespects.
And to think that all I've done, and all I've given out. Gosh. It still pains me, because being 'dispensable' like that destroys me and creates an anger and grudge.
Like I've said before. The ultimate support, and foundations of those genuine WILL HOLD. These support levels are invincible, are ultimate and though tested, will NEVER be broken. Yet, the inflated, fake cushioned euphoria surrounding space cadets, will plummet. Some things 'never' change.
Yet, trend lines built are no longer the same, once they've been broken. It's sad. I guess the ball is not in my side of the court. I am glad the 'originals' are still there though. They too will hold.
I am still waiting dearly on a BMW diesel, a place of my home, but most of all financial security.
...
A friend suggested that he'll see himself as a happy person, or a rich person w/o happiness. Golly....
Anyhow, I will just go to sleep.. Nite.
But my approach has to take a break.
They say tomorrow is going to be a big day. Maybe tomorrow is the day to sell the public w/ a reason to correct.
Someone told me, we will 'gap' down into red and remain there. I won't deny some suckers 'buying' into the dip. But we shall see. We just shall see !
-----
These days, the tough real world is so tiring and draining. Life is just unfolding, a path that seems set. A routine, a matrix. I am just so tired, disappointed, and most of all shocked. I don't know why. I guess by dragging, dreading, and immersing my natural cynic pessimistic views, I have depressed and suppressed my optimism.
I've learned that by speaking things out, it'll come true. So instead of hiding my desire to make it, learn it, and earn it, I've told myself I will become rich. I guess it's a start of some sort?
Some people have changed on me at the passing of time. At their wills. A few. They have no other attachment, remorse, or delay. Like that of a CEO, 'restructuring' people, disregarding everything else. I guess people were just too selfish, looking out for 'just' their own self interest. It shocks me, how 1 year ago, the smiles, the trusts, and genuine bond floated around, and now, nothing more. Now, it has been about selfish ulterior motives, of selfish pursuits; total disrespects.
And to think that all I've done, and all I've given out. Gosh. It still pains me, because being 'dispensable' like that destroys me and creates an anger and grudge.
Like I've said before. The ultimate support, and foundations of those genuine WILL HOLD. These support levels are invincible, are ultimate and though tested, will NEVER be broken. Yet, the inflated, fake cushioned euphoria surrounding space cadets, will plummet. Some things 'never' change.
Yet, trend lines built are no longer the same, once they've been broken. It's sad. I guess the ball is not in my side of the court. I am glad the 'originals' are still there though. They too will hold.
I am still waiting dearly on a BMW diesel, a place of my home, but most of all financial security.
...
A friend suggested that he'll see himself as a happy person, or a rich person w/o happiness. Golly....
Anyhow, I will just go to sleep.. Nite.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Been too long..
Work has been entirely stressful.
There is nothing much here. Looking back, maybe I was just a bit too soft as ever and used. Golly...
Life.. Life.. I wish to succeed...
Sittin through a lot of pain.
----
Green shoots, recovery, inflated stocks, shitted dollar, high job losses, credit losses, equity evaporation = recovery in sight ?!
LOL
There is nothing much here. Looking back, maybe I was just a bit too soft as ever and used. Golly...
Life.. Life.. I wish to succeed...
Sittin through a lot of pain.
----
Green shoots, recovery, inflated stocks, shitted dollar, high job losses, credit losses, equity evaporation = recovery in sight ?!
LOL
Sunday, August 2, 2009
There is oddity..
I often question the existence of things, my position, and my daily routine in life. I think back to life itself, and the paths that's presented in front of me. It just feels deep, and it feels like there's so much uncertainty and despair in the air. I am not sure what it is, but it sure feels like a collapse, and hopes just flushing down the drain.
I'm not sure really what it is. There's just a very odd feeling that's been lingering me. My distastefulness in certain things are brewing, slowly and mildly. Perhaps right now, I am mentally drained and I have 'too much' expectations of things. Perhaps, I am just too stressed.
Maybe I am just thinking too much. But it does seem natural when things are so redundant. I am more shocked and disappointed though.
Anyhow, I've left it out there. I let all that's out there onto the courts.
-Anguished
I'm not sure really what it is. There's just a very odd feeling that's been lingering me. My distastefulness in certain things are brewing, slowly and mildly. Perhaps right now, I am mentally drained and I have 'too much' expectations of things. Perhaps, I am just too stressed.
Maybe I am just thinking too much. But it does seem natural when things are so redundant. I am more shocked and disappointed though.
Anyhow, I've left it out there. I let all that's out there onto the courts.
-Anguished
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Applicability
There's a lot of applicability in terms of life. The analogous bridges that occur, much like the trends, cycles, and the way things are.
People will artificially create a support for certain things. They will live in that mindset for as long as it'll allow them to. It is not concrete, but just a temporary glorious dream. In the midst, they violated things, breached certain things, and disregarded everything else. They are riding on the notion that things are fine, they put effort into it, excessively sell themselves to create something that's not really there! This will break down, and the lesson will be very painful.
Much like the genuine strength of actual support. Actual support is there, no matter how much you deviate from it. It is there because it is strong, and real. It is not pumped up.
The analogous point can be found in the markets and people.
People who discern, and deviate from the genuine bonds and pursue fictitious lifestyles will never find truth in it. Yet, you can deviate so much from strong friendships, and relationships that you can find yourself going back to it and be placated by it.
The markets are exhibiting this 100%. The endless opinions and views are thrown out, but sooner or later, it will find the truth.
I guess that's all there is to really say about this for now.
------
Bullish Harami
People will artificially create a support for certain things. They will live in that mindset for as long as it'll allow them to. It is not concrete, but just a temporary glorious dream. In the midst, they violated things, breached certain things, and disregarded everything else. They are riding on the notion that things are fine, they put effort into it, excessively sell themselves to create something that's not really there! This will break down, and the lesson will be very painful.
Much like the genuine strength of actual support. Actual support is there, no matter how much you deviate from it. It is there because it is strong, and real. It is not pumped up.
The analogous point can be found in the markets and people.
People who discern, and deviate from the genuine bonds and pursue fictitious lifestyles will never find truth in it. Yet, you can deviate so much from strong friendships, and relationships that you can find yourself going back to it and be placated by it.
The markets are exhibiting this 100%. The endless opinions and views are thrown out, but sooner or later, it will find the truth.
I guess that's all there is to really say about this for now.
------
Bullish Harami
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